Beard.

While High:

My name is Ezequiel, and I have a beard. I must confess that when one smokes and gets high, a beard is in order.

Just ask Justin Bieber. Yes, Mr. Bieber has the nicest teen tits since Conan O’brien graced the television.

Now, how about those Yankees? I hate baseball. So fuck them. I never did get why they had to time travel to save that princess from burning, yet when they got to the castle the princess was in another castle. Motherfucking Ninja Turtles and their lust to steal rabbits from my nuts.

I will shave my beard to get a job. I need a job, because I have to pay for my weed. Otherwise I will be forced into working the fields as a sugar cane cutter. That ain’t right.

If Michael Jackson did it, why not me. Hey, did you know Michael went to the moon?

Yep, he bought his own Vista Cruiser.

Gotta go now. I have to shave the sheeps beard that I carry in my face. Yuck.